Dixie Carter: Goodnight to Moonlight and Magnolias

Dixie Carter, best known for her role as Julia Sugarbaker on “Designing Women”, died yesterday.  Her passing made me sad for many reasons.

I have long struggled with my Southern Heritage–how to keep the good and throw out the bad.  Her portrayal of Julia really helped me with that journey.

All the ugliness coming out of Virginia this week, where the Governor failed to recognize the importance of Slavery as part of “Confederate History Month”, made me address that struggle again.  Dixie Carter and “Designing Women” helped put this in perspective and I thought of them more than once.

We all need to let go of the myth of the Old South.  God knows I have and so had Julia Sugarbaker.  Dixie Carter’s Julia knew we needed to keep the good, but recognize and address the bad.

All Southerners need to face the fact that Slavery was the cause of the Civil War.  I can’t believe I still have to say this 150 years after that horrible war.  States’ Rights and the other catch phrases were merely propaganda terms used to entice the poor Southerners to fight to protect the socio-economic needs of the few rich Southerners.  A myth of the Old South grew from this that some of us are still trying to dispel 150 years later.  The war wasn’t about States’ Rights.  It was about one group of people owning another group of people and making their life hell for their own benefit.  Let’s finally put that to rest.

However, I never wanted to throw out the baby with the bath water.  There are certain Southern characteristics we need to keep.  Our justifiable reputation for hospitality and casual elegance.  Our concern for our family, friends and neighbors.  Our appreciation of honesty and a sense of personal honor.  We need to keep these parts of our heritage–whether we are black or white.  Or Hispanic.  Or Asian.  There are many kinds of Southerners now.

We do need to lose our traditions that held down and held back women.  Julia Sugarbaker and Dixie Carter knew this.  There was no Southern Belle Simple for these women.  No pretending to be dumber than they were.  They were educated, forthright and honest.  They were straight shooters, not manipulative Southern Belles.  They were Southern Women– not girls–as my friend Robin made me aware last week.  Dixie Carter put Scarlette O’Hara, or more precisely her sister Suellen,  in her place– as part of historical fiction, not modern fact.

Dixie Carter’s Julia Sugarbaker gave a new face to the Southern woman.  And it was one face, not two.

Steve and I had the privilege to meet Ms. Carter briefly once.  In person, she was exactly what you would expect.  She was beautiful, smart, gracious and classy.  She was a modern Southern Lady.

I’ve been privileged to know a few other women like her of her generation.  My friend Shakey’s mom, Betty, welcomed a house full of W&L boys- and we were boys then, not men- into her home for every dance weekend at Sweet Briar.  I can’t imagine how different my college life might have been had I not known this Great Lady.  She made us welcome, fed us-both food and bourbon- and entertained us in the most gracious manner imaginable.  I’ll never forget visiting her in college right after she had cancer surgery.  She received us with a grace and sense of humor that only a Southern Lady could have after such an ordeal.  My friend Deane’s mother, Nancy, always welcomed us into her home in Danville and we spent many entertaining evenings in her company. These women always seemed, at least, to be thrilled to see us and made us comfortable, amused and enchanted by their company.

Dixie Carter’s Julia Sugarbaker made these women visable to the rest of the country.  She demystified the South and showed us how Southern Women really were and should be seen.  She knew we needed to keep the Magnolias, but lose a little of the Moonlight.  She showed how great these women could be in the light of day- when the Klan didn’t march, lynchings didn’t happen and lesser women weren’t focused on manipulating their men.

Dixie Carter will be missed.  The world is a sadder, less elegant place without her.  Just as it would be without the women she personified and publicized.

Thankfully, I see the Southern Women-by birth and by choice- of my generation carrying on her example.