Category Archives: Gay

October 30, 2010 · 11:21 am

Movie/DVD Recommendation: “Big Eden”

I was thinking about this movie this morning and that I need to see it again.  It’s one of my favorite independent movies.

“Big Eden” is heartwarming, without being overly sentimental.  It is about Gay people but every straight person I’ve ever recommended it to has also loved it.  It’s about an idealized small town where everyone comes together and is open minded and supportive of each other.  I think of it as kind of like “Northern Exposure”, but a little more Gay.

I encourage you to buy or rent “Big Eden” on DVD.  I promise, you will be glad you  watched it.

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Filed under Entertainment, Gay, Movies, Social Commentary

October 15, 2010 · 10:30 pm

It Get’s Better…

I’m not sure everyone realizes how deeply the recent epidemic of suicides by young, gay people have touched so many of us older gay people.

Honestly, we understand what they felt.  Most of us have been there and we got past it.

We just want them to know, it does get so much better.

The guy in this video puts it all so well.  I thank him for that and hope others will listen…It’s worth watching the entire thing.

Many of us have been there with him and come out on the other side.  It really is a fairly universal story…

These gay kids need to realize how great life as a gay person can be once you work through all the crap…

And, believe me, you can work through it…No, it’s not easy, but just hang in there and look for support.

It’s there.  We’re here.  We made it…and we are willing to help you make it,too.

Remember, the bullies will probably end up driving beer trucks in small towns while you have a wonderful life.  It may take a few years, but hang in there.

Also, remember, people who are popular in High School have probably peaked too soon.  Your time is yet to come…

It does get so much better…

And life is so good….

Grab it and hold on to it like the something precious it is….

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Filed under Education, Gay, Politics, Religion, The South

October 15, 2010 · 8:36 pm

Bishop Gene Robinson: How Religion Is Killing Our Most Vulnerable Youth

I really hope people think about this…

An increasingly popular bumper sticker reads, “Guns Don’t Kill People — RELIGION Kills People!” In light of recent events I would add religion kills young people: gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender young people.

Perhaps not directly, though. And religion is certainly not the only source of anti-gay sentiment in the culture. But it’s hard to deny that religious voices denouncing LGBT people contribute to the atmosphere in which violence against LGBT people and bullying of LGBT youth can flourish.

The news is filled with the tragedies of teenaged boys who were gay and decided to end their living hell by committing suicide. Maybe they weren’t even gay, but merely perceived to be by their peers, who harassed, taunted, and threatened them unmercifully.

via Bishop Gene Robinson: How Religion Is Killing Our Most Vulnerable Youth.

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October 13, 2010 · 11:11 pm

It’s my Birthday and I’ll Post If I Want to…

Since, thanks to Facebook and these blogs, I no longer have any secrets….

Thanks to all of you for the Birthday wishes.  I truly appreciate it.

I thought I would share a few videos that reflect my thoughts on various stages of  growing just a little bit older…

And the journey to get there…

I can’t believe I’m almost 42, ugh, I mean 52…

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Filed under Broadway, Danville, Entertainment, Gay, Social Commentary, Style, The South, Theatre

October 8, 2010 · 10:46 pm

Chapter 26: Queer in the South: My Story, Part 3 | My Southern Gothic Life

I have a new post up on my other blog:

Since I’ve told the beginning and the most recent part of this journey, I guess I need to go back and pick up the middle part that I skipped over.

There is a reason I skipped this part.  I think of the years I’m going to speak of now as the “Lost Years.”  These are the years when I was getting my act together so I could take it on the road and end up happily where I am now.

So, if I’m going to tell the whole story, I need to go back and pick these up…

via Chapter 26: Queer in the South: My Story, Part 3 | My Southern Gothic Life.

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Filed under Danville, Gay, My Journey, Religion, Social Commentary, The South

October 2, 2010 · 10:39 pm

Chapter 25: Queer in the South: My Story, Part 2 | My Southern Gothic Life

New post up on my other blog.

Here is an excerpt and a link to the full post:

Let me start the second part of sharing this journey by pointing out that the story has a happy ending. I like to think I ended up a fairly well-adjusted, happily partnered Gay man. But it’s not something that just happened on its own.

Let me also say, I think my journey would have been easier if I had not been stuck in Danville, Virginia during the early years of my coming out and coming to terms with who I really was.

There is a monologue by  Little Edie, in “Grey Gardens” that always makes me think of Danville.  She might have been talking about Long Island and other circumstances, but it always reminds me of Danville:

Honestly, they can get you…for wearing red shoes on a Thursday – and all that sort of thing…They can get you for almost anything – it’s a mean, nasty, Republican town.”

I was also working in banking there and believe me, bankers are the most self-important creatures ever to walk the earth. They had very firm ideas of how one was supposed to conduct themselves both at and out of the office. That was another role I couldn’t play…

But getting back to the Gay thing. I don’t think people realize how tough it apparently still is for gay kids and adults in places like Danville and Mississippi. People think all gay people live in San Francisco or New York or Greensboro or Richmond or Charlottesville. Not in small towns and cities that aren’t as progressive as some of the areas mentioned above.

via Chapter 25: Queer in the South: My Story, Part 2 | My Southern Gothic Life.

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Filed under Danville, Gay, History, My Journey, Politics, Religion, Social Commentary, The South

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October 1, 2010 · 1:40 am

My Southern Gothic Life | Trying to Stay Sane in a Crazy Southern World…

New post up on my other blog:

I struggled with how to title this post, but I decided to go with the pejorative terminology.  Now is not a time to be delicate or sensitive.

I’m just going to lay out the facts.  I’ve been very honest on this blog about my family and I’m going to try to be equally as honest about myself.  Fair is fair.

Some of you know part of this story.  A very few know it all.  Most of you don’t know any of this….but with us facing at least 6 suicides by young gay men this week, I decided to move up the time clock and tell it all.

I’m going to tell my personal story, but I don’t think it’s a singular story.  One of the things we learn as we grow older is that we aren’t as special as we once thought we were.

via My Southern Gothic Life | Trying to Stay Sane in a Crazy Southern World….

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Filed under Danville, Gay, My Journey, Virginia

September 29, 2010 · 9:48 pm

AMERICAblog News: Rutgers freshman kills self after roommate secretly films him making out with guy, puts film on Twitter

Horrible story I saw earlier today.  John Aravosis at Americablog has a very heartfelt and accurate commentary on this sad story.  I’ll post an excerpt and and a link to his full post.  I couldn’t agree with him more…

This is the second young gay suicide in the press that I’ve seen this week.  I like to think things have changed since I was their age, but it seems that maybe they really haven’t….

A horrific story. 18 year old Tyler Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University in New Jersey, reportedly jumped off a bridge to his death after his roommate secretly set up spy cameras in his dorm room, filmed him making out with another guy, and then posted the videos on Twitter. (Someone set up a Facebook page in his memory.)

This is what it means to be gay in America in 2010. I think a lot of people who aren’t gay, and even many who are, like to think that we’re all rich and live in big welcoming cities where being gay is about as big a handicap as being left-handed. We say we want our civil rights, but I think a lot of people think we’ve got things pretty good, and behind closed doors, they probably call us whiners too.

And I’m sure our lives are pretty good, and just as good as straight people’s, except for the part about not being able to get married, have children in many states, keep a job – oh yeah, and that nagging desire to kill ourselves because so many of us grew up thinking we were horrible people who would never be loved, or find love.

I think it’s this kind of attitude that leads people to lecture us about “keeping the long view in mind” with regards to getting our civil rights.  I wrote in response, just yesterday, “to paraphrase Keynes, in the long view we’re all dead.”

Gay civil rights isn’t a “social issue.” It’s our lives. A lot of us, myself included, grew up thinking we’d never see the age of 30 because we’d have to kill ourselves once people found out we were gay. A lot of people have no idea how hard it is to grow up being gay. To grow up thinking God made you wrong. Thinking you will never find love. Thinking your own family and friends will disown you once they know who you really are. And hearing the President of the United States – one of the “good” guys – say that you don’t deserve the right to marry the person you love.

via AMERICAblog News: Rutgers freshman kills self after roommate secretly films him making out with guy, puts film on Twitter.

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Filed under Gay, History, Politics, Religion, Social Commentary

September 23, 2010 · 8:57 pm

Dozens gather to remember shootings at Backstreet Cafe – Roanoke.com

Thanks to my friend Kirk for reminding me of this…

As long as hatred if officially sanctioned, we run the risk of a repeat…

Whenever Dee Reese hears that front door swing open and the sound of the bells rattling against the back, she turns to examine whoever is walking into the Backstreet Cafe in downtown Roanoke.

It’s been that way since Sept. 22, 2000, when troubled drifter and Vietnam War veteran Ronald Gay vowed to “waste some faggots” and found his way into the Salem Avenue nightspot. He opened fire, killing Danny Lee Overstreet, 43, and wounding six others.

Reese, a Backstreet regular, remembers clenching a barstool’s metal legs, keeping the black leather seat cushion pressed to her head as a shield against the fusillade of bullets.

“A lot of people withdrew after that,” said Reese, who is a lesbian. “I am more cautious of my surroundings now, but I am not ashamed to be who I am.”

Wednesday night, about 60 people gathered at the bar to remember Overstreet and the others who were shot there 10 years ago. The crowd included blacks, whites, Asians, lesbians, gay men, preachers, some who were there that night and many who were not. None of the victims was in attendance.

Gay, serving four back-to-back life sentences, wrote from the Marion Correctional Center last month that he didn’t select his victims because of his name, as he told police shortly after the crime. Instead, he said, he killed “the homosexual” in an attempt to silence “the evil” in his head that was telling him “to shoot or have no rest.”

via Dozens gather to remember shootings at Backstreet Cafe – Roanoke.com.

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Filed under Gay, Politics, Religion, Social Commentary, Virginia

September 22, 2010 · 10:10 pm

John Barrowman: I am What I Am

The only thing that might brighten the day up more than a little Karen Walker is a little John Barrowman.

This song may seem trite to some folks, but I think it’s timely after yesterday’s Senate vote to block “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.

I also think this song probably resonates more with Gay men of my age than some of the younger folk and straight folks may realize….

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Filed under Entertainment, Gay, My Journey, Social Commentary