Category Archives: My Journey

October 2, 2010 · 10:39 pm

Chapter 25: Queer in the South: My Story, Part 2 | My Southern Gothic Life

New post up on my other blog.

Here is an excerpt and a link to the full post:

Let me start the second part of sharing this journey by pointing out that the story has a happy ending. I like to think I ended up a fairly well-adjusted, happily partnered Gay man. But it’s not something that just happened on its own.

Let me also say, I think my journey would have been easier if I had not been stuck in Danville, Virginia during the early years of my coming out and coming to terms with who I really was.

There is a monologue by  Little Edie, in “Grey Gardens” that always makes me think of Danville.  She might have been talking about Long Island and other circumstances, but it always reminds me of Danville:

Honestly, they can get you…for wearing red shoes on a Thursday – and all that sort of thing…They can get you for almost anything – it’s a mean, nasty, Republican town.”

I was also working in banking there and believe me, bankers are the most self-important creatures ever to walk the earth. They had very firm ideas of how one was supposed to conduct themselves both at and out of the office. That was another role I couldn’t play…

But getting back to the Gay thing. I don’t think people realize how tough it apparently still is for gay kids and adults in places like Danville and Mississippi. People think all gay people live in San Francisco or New York or Greensboro or Richmond or Charlottesville. Not in small towns and cities that aren’t as progressive as some of the areas mentioned above.

via Chapter 25: Queer in the South: My Story, Part 2 | My Southern Gothic Life.

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Filed under Danville, Gay, History, My Journey, Politics, Religion, Social Commentary, The South

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October 1, 2010 · 1:40 am

My Southern Gothic Life | Trying to Stay Sane in a Crazy Southern World…

New post up on my other blog:

I struggled with how to title this post, but I decided to go with the pejorative terminology.  Now is not a time to be delicate or sensitive.

I’m just going to lay out the facts.  I’ve been very honest on this blog about my family and I’m going to try to be equally as honest about myself.  Fair is fair.

Some of you know part of this story.  A very few know it all.  Most of you don’t know any of this….but with us facing at least 6 suicides by young gay men this week, I decided to move up the time clock and tell it all.

I’m going to tell my personal story, but I don’t think it’s a singular story.  One of the things we learn as we grow older is that we aren’t as special as we once thought we were.

via My Southern Gothic Life | Trying to Stay Sane in a Crazy Southern World….

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Filed under Danville, Gay, My Journey, Virginia

September 27, 2010 · 11:51 pm

Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy

After all the trips down memory lane with my old pictures and friends on Facebook tonight, this just seems appropriate.

We certainly danced the night away to this song by the Tams more nights than I can remember when we were in College…

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Filed under Entertainment, My Journey, The South, Virginia

September 23, 2010 · 10:22 pm

Chapter 22: A Few Things I’ve Learned Along the Way | My Southern Gothic Life

I put up a new post on my other blog last night.  Here is an excerpt.  Please click the link for the full post….

Being born in the South, you are raised with a lot of preconceived notions.  When you are young, you are taught to accept certain things without question.

Well, I’m really am glad I’m not young anymore.  I’ve learned too much along the way that I don’t ever want to lose.

I admit, it might be nice to be 35 again. But I would never want to lose the knowledge and confidence that only comes with getting older.

Perceptions change with time, education and experience.  We learn a lot of things we are told when we are young are simply not true.  We learn life is a long, incredible endless journey that, hopefully, leads us to a truer knowledge of what’s real and not real.

Hopefully, we learn to find our own defining beliefs along the way…

Here are a few bits of personal knowledge I’ve picked up along the way:

via Chapter 22: A Few Things I’ve Learned Along the Way | My Southern Gothic Life.

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September 22, 2010 · 10:10 pm

John Barrowman: I am What I Am

The only thing that might brighten the day up more than a little Karen Walker is a little John Barrowman.

This song may seem trite to some folks, but I think it’s timely after yesterday’s Senate vote to block “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.

I also think this song probably resonates more with Gay men of my age than some of the younger folk and straight folks may realize….

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Filed under Entertainment, Gay, My Journey, Social Commentary

September 18, 2010 · 1:17 am

A Good “Survivor” Song for a Friday Night

I love Shirley Bassey and this song…

It’s Sondheim from “Follies”.  Originally done by Yvonne DeCarlo, for whom it was written and on whose life it was based.

But I’m saving that version to post for my Birthday!

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Filed under Broadway, Entertainment, Gay, My Journey

September 17, 2010 · 10:40 pm

Chapter 21: Summer Jobs and The Mad Men of Danville | My Southern Gothic Life

Finally, a new post is up at my other blog:

I’ve recently had a revelation.  The concept of ‘”summer jobs” is really a passe concept.

Nowadays it seems kids spend the summers going to “camps” to increase their skills and marketability for College as opposed to earning cash for college like my generation did.

I think this is a contributing factor to the break down in societal cohesiveness and the understanding of Class Structure in America.

I know it was a different time and place, but I think I got almost as much education in Life 101 from my summer jobs as I got from College.  For one thing, the jobs we had back in “the day” generally required us to interact with people from, how does one say this politely, other classes?

My Father had a very strong work ethic.  He believed you worked yourself to death, like he did at age 55.  He was from the traditional school of thought that men worked.  Period.

I delivered papers from the time I was about 10 0r 12 until I went away to College.  In addition, as soon as I turned 16, I had Summer Jobs.  I’m not talking internships.  I worked in the warehouse of my Father’s Company or at Dan River Mills.

via Chapter 21: Summer Jobs and The Mad Men of Danville | My Southern Gothic Life.

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Filed under Danville, My Journey, Social Commentary, The South, Virginia

September 16, 2010 · 6:35 pm

The Official Preppy Reboot | Society | Vanity Fair

Very amusing article from Lisa Birnbach, the Author of “True Prep” in “Vanity Fair”…

I keep calling attention to this, because I was in College at Washington and Lee University when her first book, “The Official Preppie Handbook” came out and became a sensation.  It was one of the cultural touchstones for our crowd at that time.  It’s nice to see we’ve all evolved, but still belong to the Prep cliches of our youth…and we have caught up with the rest of the world as it’s caught up with us.  Assimilation is a wonderful thing!

It’s been 30 years! It doesn’t seem possible, does it? Despite changes and crises, the maid quitting, running out of vodka, your NetJets account being yanked, and the Internet, it’s still nice to be prep.

And as we have gotten a bit older and a teensy bit wiser, the world has become much smaller. We are all interconnected, intermarried, inter-everything’d. The great-looking couple in the matching tweed blazers and wide-wale orange corduroy trousers are speaking … Italian. On Melrose Avenue! Whereas once upon a time it was unlikely Europeans would be attracted to our aesthetic, now they’ve adapted it and made it their own. (They’re the women with no hips, in case you were wondering.)

Let’s begin at the beginning of the year. Here are our resolutions. You’ll catch on.

Click the link below to see all the resolutions…

Here is another great excerpt:

Who We Are Now

Formerly Wasp. Failing that, white and heterosexual. One day we became curious or bored and wanted to branch out, and before you knew it, we were all mixed up.

Well, that’s the way we like it, even if Grandmother did disapprove and didn’t go to the wedding ceremony. (Did she ever stop talking about the “barefoot and pregnant bride”? Ever?) And now one of our nieces, MacKenzie, is a researcher at the C.D.C. in Atlanta and is engaged to marry the loveliest man … Rajeem, a pediatrician who went to Duke. And Kelly is at Smith, and you know what that means. And our son Cal is married to Rachel, and her father the cantor married them in a lovely ceremony. Katie, our daughter, is a decorative artist living in Philadelphia with Otis, who is a professor of African-American studies at Swarthmore. And then there’s Bailey, our handsome little nephew. Somehow, all he wants to do is ski, meet girls, and drink beer.

Well, there’s one out of five.

And you really  should click the link for more info on Travel and Fashion Rules…

Lind to entire article:   The Official Preppy Reboot | Society | Vanity Fair.

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September 15, 2010 · 11:17 pm

Old Friends

I’ll elaborate more on this theme in the future on my other blog, but I wanted to recognize my Old Friends here for now…

I had the privelge of seeing some of my old friends in Danville last night.  One of whom I hadn’t seen in 20 years.

My friends were always more my “family” than my family.  We could be brutally honest and still stay friends.

I detest cheap sentiment, but this is for them…and all my other good friends who I don’t see often enough…

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September 11, 2010 · 1:40 pm

Chapter 21: A Southern Boy’s Reflections on New York on September 11th | My Southern Gothic Life

A newish post is up on my other blog:

I am blessed to be able to go to New York at least 3 or 4 times a year- for either business or pleasure.  I can say, with no shame, guilt or qualification that I love New York.  As I have said before, I’ve had my love affairs with London and Paris, but I always come home to New York as my favorite city.  It is the most alive place I have ever been.

I know people go to New York to escape where they are from or who they may have been before.  That’s part of the magic.  Nothing is as it really seems.  From Broadway to the Bronx, you create your own reality in New York.  But it is always alive and you can’t hide from life in New York.  At least not easily.

In other parts of the country, you can isolate yourself.  You can’t do that in New York.  You can only have so much delivered.  You have to go out.  And when you go out, life smacks you in the face.

See, one of the reasons New York is both so Democratic and democratic is that you can’t help but interact with people who are different from you.  You are all in it–life in New York– together wether you like it or not.  You run into a multitude of diversity on the subway.  Walking down the block to the bodega on the corner.  Sure, each neighborhood is a unique little space, but you still aren’t isolated from the bigger space.  This makes you think and understand the people are both different, but the same, and that you need to work together to make life better for all of us.

One of the reasons the South other parts of the country can be so inbred and ignorant of diversity is that it’s so easy in those places to only socialize with “people like you”.   That type of isolation can only happen in New York if you are very, very rich.  And even then, with the influx of so much New Money, it’s still more diverse than it once was…

That’s why September 11th will always haunt that city.  It was a flash point that is still real and raw.  New York always goes on and goes forward.   Nothing stops New York.  But this last trip to New York, I was more aware of how September 11th still haunts the city than I had been in some time.

MORE:  Click link below for the complete post.

Chapter 21: A Southern Boy’s Reflections on New York on September 11th | My Southern Gothic Life.

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Filed under My Journey, New York, Social Commentary