Tag Archives: Family

Changing Energy

I debated which of my blogs to post this on, but I think it’s more about being “Lost in the 21st Century” than “My Southern Gothic Life”….

Or maybe it’s more about finding our way in the 21st Century…

Bear with me, as this one’s a little out there….

So far this year, my partner, Steve, and I have lost at least 3 major figures in our lives. Friends who personified different eras in our lives. People who were part of our growth, our development and who meant too damn much to us to lose them so soon…

People we hadn’t talked to a lot recently…..

But still, they were still key parts of our lives.  Life moved on and we were just too caught up in the moments and minutiae of day-to-day living…

We were still aware of them, but somehow took them for granted.  But, we still felt better about life knowing they were a part of it. We thought that we were still moving forward, maybe in different places at different paces, but still all on the Journey.

If we were not physically together, we were still psychically together. We still shared our collective pasts and the energy that our shared pasts generated.  We just assumed we would touch base and catch up again sometime soon….

We always thought there was time…

I lost so many of the key figures in my birth family back in the 1980’s.  I once joked that we spent so much money at the local funeral home during that decade, that they should name a wing after us. Since then, I’ve been much closer to my friends and built a family of choice. I realize now, I have always done this… So all of these people were family. Mine or Steve’s and, thus, ours together. They were part of the energy of our lives….

They were, in that way, family.

You see, I just can’t separate close friends, or friends who were once close, from family. Family is a fluid concept for me. I don’t believe in the “standard” definition of family. To me, family is a kind of shared energy between people. God knows, it can be either positive or negative energy, that sometimes changes over time, goes back and forth from one kind to the other, but is always there.  Our energy is shared and connects us….

Some people, be they by birth or by choice, are family of a time and place because of energy that is shared in that moment. Some people, who become so much a part of our own energy, are family forever, no matter what…

And when we lose them, maybe it’s the energy we miss as much as the people….

Or maybe the people are the energy and the energy is the person…

The people we have lost recently were admittedly family of a time and place.  They were a part of times of incredible shared energy. I think that’s what makes mourning them different and difficult.  But it does pull us together again with those who remain who shared those times.

Maybe we don’t so much mourn the people we’ve lost as we mourn the times they represent in our lives. And the fact that the energy of that era is no longer part of our daily lives…

But the funny thing is, as they die, the past becomes more real and alive. We remember who we were, who they were and how special those times in our lives were. The energy returns and intensifies….

Maybe we aren’t losing their energy, but feeling it transmute into something different. Maybe they aren’t really dead as long as we remember them and what they and the times we shared meant and signified. Maybe their energy- our shared energy- is just shifting….

I’m not a classically religious person, but I am spiritual.  I feel energy….

There is a law of physics that says energy can’t be created or destroyed, it can only be changed….

And the older I get, the more I believe in that law….

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Filed under Religion, Scott's Commentary

Married Couples in less than Half of US Households

When are people going to finally face the fact that the “Ozzie and Harriet”, “Father Knows Best”, “Leave it to Beaver” world is gone?

If it ever existed in the first place…

The Conservatives keep harping on Family Values, but I always ask “Whose Family?”

My family of two Gay Men, a dog and two cats?  A family of 2 twentysomethings too financially insecure to think about a house and kids?  A family led by a single mother with children she has to feed, clothe and take care of alone?  A family of two women with children?  A family of one elderly American living alone?

Let’s get real here….

If you are going to talk about Family Values, it’s time to think about what a Family really is….

There are many kinds of Families…

Not all are what some  political Conservatives with an agenda want to force a Family to be…

Three mornings a week, when Becky Leung gets ready for work, her boyfriend is just getting home from his overnight job. When her mother drops hints about her twin sister’s marriage, she laughs it off. And when she thinks about getting married herself, she worries first about her career.

Leung, 27, cohabits in a Portland, Ore., townhome with her boyfriend but has no plans yet to wed, a reflection of the broader cultural shift in the U.S. away from the traditional definition of what it means to be a household.

Data released Thursday by the U.S. Census Bureau shows married couples have found themselves in a new position: They’re no longer the majority.

It’s a trend that’s been creeping along for decades, but in the 2010 Census, married couples represent 48 percent of all households. That’s down from 52 percent in the last Census and, for the first time in U.S. history, puts households led by married couples as a plurality.

via Married couples in less than half of US households – Yahoo! News.

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