Tag Archives: Marriage

New Post: Chapter 71: Big Fat Southern Weddings: Part 1 | My Southern Gothic Life

I have a new post up on my other blog, MySouthrenGothicLife.com”:


With all the talk about Marriage- Gay Marriage, in particular- this week, I can’t help but reflect on  all the Big Southern weddings I was involved with back in the 1980′s.  It was the first few years after college and there was a rush of them- each trying to outdo the others.

I have mixed feelings about marriage, but I can’t deny it’s legal and societal importance.  All I can offer to the battle is my memories and perspective of how marriages and weddings have been so important in my life…

So, I’m going to do what I do best:  Go back in time and remember and comment….

More:   Chapter 71: Big Fat Southern Weddings: Part 1 | My Southern Gothic Life.

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For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

This is a very thought provoking article that I recently read in the New York Times.

There is a lot to consider here and a lot to think about and discuss….

But one thing is clear:  The Families Values crowd is blatantly out of touch with the reality of modern American life.  Not just for Gays, but for Women…

They argue incessantly for the Nuclear Family, that is pretty much becoming a minority situation- just like the GOP.

And their recent attacks on birth control availability seems sheer madness in light of realities such as these….

Whether they like it or not, it’s not the 1950’s anymore and Ward and June Cleever are gone….

Abstinence Based Sex Education just isn’t realistic…

It’s time our social and political philosophies recognize this fact…

LORAIN, Ohio — It used to be called illegitimacy. Now it is the new normal. After steadily rising for five decades, the share of children born to unmarried women has crossed a threshold: more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage.

Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, motherhood without marriage has settled deeply into middle America. The fastest growth in the last two decades has occurred among white women in their 20s who have some college education but no four-year degree, according to Child Trends, a Washington research group that analyzed government data.

Among mothers of all ages, a majority — 59 percent in 2009 — are married when they have children. But the surge of births outside marriage among younger women — nearly two-thirds of children in the United States are born to mothers under 30 — is both a symbol of the transforming family and a hint of coming generational change.

One group still largely resists the trend: college graduates, who overwhelmingly marry before having children. That is turning family structure into a new class divide, with the economic and social rewards of marriage increasingly reserved for people with the most education.

via For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage – NYTimes.com.

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The Ghost of Jesse Helms

The Ghost of Jesse Helms visited the North Carolina legislature this week.  I guess we were moving too far along the Progressive path and he feared his legacy was about to be forgotten, so he had to come back for a visit.

Jesse Helms- or at least his memory and his followers- are still alive and well and living in North Carolina.  I forget that sometimes….

I remember when I moved here from Virginia years ago.  I didn’t change the tags on my car for as long as possible as I couldn’t stand the thought of North Carolina tags on my car and people seeing them and linking me to Jesse Helms.  In those days, he was a universal symbol of all that was hateful, judgmental, mean and petty.  Back then, Virginia seemed the more reasonable state.

In more recent years, the loonies have taken over again in Virginia and North Carolina seemed to be becoming a bastion of sanity.  Or at least a Purple State.  It seemed the old ways and the old days were about to be forgotten and a new era was coming.  North Carolina voters supported a Black man in the last presidential election and elected a woman as governor.  We have openly gay mayors and legislators.  We seemed to have finally put the past behind us and been ready to lead the way into the 21st Century of tolerance and peaceful, non-judgmental coexistence.

I guess it was too much for old Jesse.  We all knew he was spinning in his grave and secretly feared something would unleash his ghost.

And it did….

The Ghost of Jesse Helms visited the North Carolina Legislature this week where the remaining followers of Jesse are trying to roll back the clock and bring back legalized discrimination.

By pushing a ballot initiative to ban any sort of recognition for Gay Relationships- not just marriage, but Domestic Partnerships or Civil Unions- the legislature has taken a giant step backwards.

They are showing they are behind the times and fighting a battle that was lost long ago.  But in a region that is still fighting the Civil War, how can we expect an easy surrender to Civil Marriage.

Let’s be clear:  Marriage is a civil, legal contract.  No matter how much the Religious Right carries on, Religion has nothing to do with it.  Churches can choose who they marry, but legislators should not choose who to discriminate against.  This amendment denies equal protection under the law.

Today, North Carolina moved past a decade of healing and pulled the scab off an old, hateful wound.

My hope is that the people of North Carolina prove that they have moved on, even if their “representatives” have not.

My hope is that they will vote down this mean-spirited attempt to legislate hate, divide people and deny basic legal protection to a class of people.

My hope is the people of North Carolina truly turn out to be the open-minded and open-hearted people I have come to know and love over the past 20 years.

I think they really might surprise those legislators in Raleigh and send Jesse’s ghost away for good.

I hope so….

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Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig- “The Onion”

From the “if only” file….

Very amusing excerpt from a great satirical article from “The Onion” with a link to the full article below:

In a stunning and unexpected reversal of long-standing doctrine, Pope Benedict XVI proclaimed the Roman Catholic Church’s unequivocal support for gay marriage Tuesday, just hours after meeting Stonington, CT couple Tony Ruggiero and Craig Housinger.

Tony and Craig, whom Vatican officials called “a truly great match.”

The papal decree—which authorizes priests to administer the sacrament of holy matrimony to same-sex partners and explicitly states that “homosexual relations between two consenting adults is not, and never has been, a sin”—was reportedly a direct result of the pope sharing an afternoon of engaging conversation and hearty laughter with the gay couple.

“Not only are Tony and Craig complete sweethearts, but anyone who spends more than two minutes with them can see they’re clearly perfect for each other,” said Benedict, who in the past has described homosexual behavior as a grave disease that threatens all of humanity. “They’re fun, gracious, and simply wonderful company. And you can tell they have something special just by the way they look at each other.”

“They’re soulmates, really,” added the pope, smiling. “Allowing them to formalize their union in the Church is the least we could do for them.”

Vatican officials said the vacationing couple and the Supreme Pontiff met during a routine papal audience at St. Peter’s Basilica, and “really hit it off” after discovering shared interests in photography, the piano, and Spanish cuisine.

via Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

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The Scary Faces of Gay Marriage

Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka To Marry: Gay Marriage Passage Enables Stars To Wed

Good for them!

Is this what the conservatives are so scared of????

From The Huffington Post:

As Americans of all stripes celebrated the passage of marriage equality in the New York State Senate, gay New Yorker couples affirmed their commitments to one another and began the 30-day countdown until they could finally say “I Do.” Amongst them, one of New York’s most famous gay couples jubilantly announced that they were getting married.

Neil Patrick Harris, the “How I Met Your Mother” star and Tonys host, became engaged late Friday night to his longtime partner, actor/chef David Burtka. Earlier in the night, Harris tweeted words of encouragement to the State Senate and said he’d “sure love to get married,” and following the law’s passage, Burtka took to Twitter and announced that the two were getting hitched.

“I’d sure love to get married. Please, NY Senate, vote in favor of marriage equality today. My family would really appreciate it,” Harris wrote before the vote; once it was passed, he tweeted his excitement, saying, “It PASSED! Marriage equality in NY!! Yes!! Progress!! Thank you everyone who worked so hard on this!! A historic night!”

Burtka then gave the big news in a tweet to a fan. “I’ve already purposed, he said yes! Thank god!” he wrote, before adding, “he proposed to me as well. I said yes! Thank god!”

Of course, it only makes sense that the pair should be allowed to marry; together for at least five years, the pair are fathers to fraternal twins, Gideon Scott and Harper Grace, born via surrogate in October 2010.

Congratulations to the happy couple, and all the other loving pairs finally granted equal rights in New York State.

via Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka To Marry: Gay Marriage Passage Enables Stars To Wed.

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Happy Anniversary to Us!

My first date with my partner, Steve, was 14 years ago today.

It lasted 48 hours…

We moved in together 6 months later…

And have been together ever since…

I want to thank him for the best 14 years of my life as we look forward to at least another 50!


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Don’t be wedded to every tradition – Other Views – NewsObserver.com

Great Op-Ed from the Reverend Douglas Long in the Raleigh News and Observer yesterday about people using the Bible to define “traditional” marriage.

As Shakespeare said, “the devil can cite scripture for his purpose.”

So, let’s give it a rest.

It’s also a great response to the infamous Dr Laura Schlessinger comments/letter about Leviticus and homosexuality floating around the web…

Here’s an excerpt and a link to the full editorial at the bottom…

Hat tip to Pam’s House Blend where I originally saw part of this….

The truth of the matter is that the Bible is not a good source supporting monogamous and mutual marriage that our society and culture has evolved to embrace.

More systematically than considering a favorite passage here and there, Vaughn Roste, the son of two Canadian Lutheran pastors with a seminary degree of his own, has undertaken a comprehensive study of passages in the Bible, researching more than 800 Biblical references that deal with marriage. He distilled from that study what he refers to as “The 12 Biblical Principles of Marriage.” In summary, in the Bible:

  • Marriage consists of one man and one or more women.
  • Nothing prevents a man from taking on concubines in addition to the wife or wives he may already have.
  • The concept of a woman giving her consent to being married is foreign to the biblical mindset.
  • If a woman cannot be proven to be a virgin at the time of marriage, she shall be stoned
  • For those who claim these are all Old Testament laws and that the New Testament supersedes them, consider in the New Testament that:
  • Women are allowed to marry the man of their father’s choosing … because women are the property of their father until married and their husband afterwards.
  • Interfaith marriages are prohibited.
  • If a man dies childless, his brother must marry the widow
  • Divorce is forbidden, and finally …
  • It’s better, according to St. Paul, to not get married at all.

The point is this, anyone can pick and choose a verse or phrase from the Bible which, taken alone and literally, will appear to support their argument. While people of the Judaic-Christian tradition may disagree on the propriety of same-gender marriage, can we at least agree to not misuse the Bible in the process?

More: Don’t be wedded to every tradition – Other Views – NewsObserver.com.

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