Tag Archives: gay marriage

Missouri Man Arrested at Hospital for Refusing to Leave Gay Partner

Another clear example of why we need Gay Marriage to be recognized….

From RawStory.com:

A gay man was arrested at a hospital in Missouri this week when he refused to leave the bedside of his partner, and now a restraining order is preventing him from any type of visitation.

Roger Gorley told WDAF that even though he has power of attorney to handle his partner’s affairs, a family member asked him to leave when he visited Research Medical Center in Kansas City on Tuesday.

Gorley said he refused to leave his partner Allen’s bedside, and that’s when security put him in handcuffs and escorted him from the building.

“I was not recognized as being the husband, I wasn’t recognized as being the partner,” Gorley explained.

He said the nurse refused to confirm that the couple shared power of attorney and made medical decision for each other.

“She didn’t even bother to look it up, to check in to it,” the Lee’s Summit resident recalled.

In a 2010 memorandum, President Barack Obama ordered hospitals that receive Medicare or Medicaid funding to allow visitation rights for gay and lesbian partners.

MORE:   Missouri man arrested at hospital for refusing to leave gay partner | The Raw Story.

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Chapter 74: Big Fat Southern Weddings: Part 4 | My Southern Gothic Life

Final part of the “Southern Wedding” series is up on my other blog:



My sister’s reception was at the “Last Capital of the Confederacy.”  The Sutherlin Manson in Danville, Virginia.

Since we weren’t members of the Golf Club and neither my Mother or Sister were members of the Wednesday Club, options were limited.  This was kind of a coup…

The Sutherlin Manson was, officially, the Last Capitol of the Confederacy because, after the fall of Richmond and Petersburg, Confederate President Jefferson  Davis and his cabinet set up temporary residence there, for a few days, before fleeing further South.

We were taught it was a place of honor due to the valiant Confederacy’s last stand.  I later learned it was really where the Confederate Government hid out, for a few days,  before running somewhere else to avoid being hanged for treason….

More:   Chapter 74: Big Fat Southern Weddings: Part 4 | My Southern Gothic Life.

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Traditional Marriage: Whose Tradition?

I seem to be pulled into the “marriage” debate a lot lately….

To be clear, we have 6 sets of dishes, so I originally didn’t see the need for Gay Marriage.

As time has passed- almost 16 years with m partner- I’ve seen the need for gay marriage from a legal and societal point of view.  I, and most enlightened, educated people understand that marriage is a legal contract that provides security for couples- and gay or straight is irrelevant to this legal contract.

Frankly, to me at this point in my life, it’s more about protecting joint assets, determining who can visit you in the hospital and make major medical and legal decision if you are incapacitated.  It’s about who makes sure, when the time comes,  your wishes are honored to be cremated and have a  tasteful memorial- instead of being painted and stuffed and subjected to a hypocritical Southern Baptist Funeral by people who barely know you….

It’s also really nice to give a big party and celebrate who you love with a couple of hundred of your closest friends.  And maybe get some more dishes….


I’ve also been read by an old friend for not taking Marriage seriously as a religious institution.  That’s because it isn’t- at least not primarily so.  It’s a legal contract. Period.  That’s why you have to get a marriage license from the government before running off to your clergy person, if you choose that route….

There is such a thing as the separation of Church and State whether these people like it or not….

The religious significance of Marriage depends on the Religion.  And the time and place….that does not supplant the legal, contractual importance of marriage.

I’m fine with a religious marriage ceremony- as long as it’s a secondary religious observance of a civil contract.

Legal rights come first.  And “traditional marriage” is a concept that has changed radically over time- both in the Christian and non-Christian world.

I won’t even touch the Biblical Old Testament definition of marriage as it’s too complicated and messy for even me to explain, so I’ll leave it to Mrs Betty Bowers:



And those who think Gay Marriage is an especially new invention should read this from “The Week”….

Same-sex unions aren’t a recent invention. Until the 13th century, male-bonding ceremonies were common in churches across the Mediterranean. Apart from the couples’ gender, these events were almost indistinguishable from other marriages of the era. Twelfth-century liturgies for same-sex unions — also known as “spiritual brotherhoods” — included the recital of marriage prayers, the joining of hands at the altar, and a ceremonial kiss. Some historians believe these unions were merely a way to seal alliances and business deals. But Eric Berkowitz, author of Sex and Punishment, says it is “difficult to believe that these rituals did not contemplate erotic contact. In fact, it was the sex between the men involved that later caused same-sex unions to be banned.” That happened in 1306, when the Byzantine Emperor Andronicus II declared such ceremonies, along with sorcery and incest, to be unchristian.

via How marriage has changed over centuries – The Week.

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I Do Not Like “Your” Christians….

I’m going to post a sad little video….

So sad, on so many levels….

First of all, I can’t have anything but compassion for this poor, misguided child.

Secondly, I would like to see his parents in jail for child abuse for putting him out there like this and teaching him all this hate….

Thirdly, I’m sad that this happened in North Carolina, in Winston-Salem, in front of a Church that has stood in support of Gay Marriage…

Fourthly, I’m proud of the people who go to this church for their compassion, class and dignity….

If it weren’t for the behavior of  the members of this Church, I would be stuck thinking, as I frequently am, of Gandhi’s quote:

“I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians.  Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

I’ll simply salute the members of this Church in Winston- Salem and try to overlook this poor, misguided child….

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Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer: The Couple Behind the DOMA Challenge

I’m only posting one video this Friday and I hope you will watch it.

It’s the story of Edie Windsor and her late spouse,  Thea Spyer, and why Edie is suing to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act.

It’s both inspiring and educational and very personal….

It shows that this isn’t just a political issue, but a very personal issue of equality and fairness…

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New Post: Chapter 71: Big Fat Southern Weddings: Part 1 | My Southern Gothic Life

I have a new post up on my other blog, MySouthrenGothicLife.com”:


With all the talk about Marriage- Gay Marriage, in particular- this week, I can’t help but reflect on  all the Big Southern weddings I was involved with back in the 1980′s.  It was the first few years after college and there was a rush of them- each trying to outdo the others.

I have mixed feelings about marriage, but I can’t deny it’s legal and societal importance.  All I can offer to the battle is my memories and perspective of how marriages and weddings have been so important in my life…

So, I’m going to do what I do best:  Go back in time and remember and comment….

More:   Chapter 71: Big Fat Southern Weddings: Part 1 | My Southern Gothic Life.

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Before The Supreme Court Considers Gay Marriage, An American Change Of Heart

It’s going to be a big week in the news for Gay Marriage as the Supreme Court begins to hear arguments on the issue.

Let’s just hope they realize how far public opinion in favor of Gay Marriage has come and how fast…

Not that public opinion should matter when discussing Civil Rights, but anything that might sway the conservative majority on the Court helps….

It’s time all Americans have equal rights to love and happiness- not to mention financial security…..

Marriage is not a religious institution, but rather a legal right to protect all families equally….

I just hope at least 5 members of the Court realize it….

From the Huffington Post:

In just the last decade, millions of Americans, from former Vice President Dick Cheney to President Barack Obama, have changed their positions on the rights of gay people. On same-sex marriage in particular, there’s been a shift of opinion so dramatic that it leaves political historians grasping for comparisons. As the Supreme Court prepares to hear two historic cases that could shape the future of same-sex marriage in America, some activists privately worry that the country and its highest court still aren’t ready. They point to the millions of Americans who would still deny gays the right to the marry, the 32 states where same-sex marriage is still banned, and the fear of a backlash like the one that followed Roe v. Wade and froze progress in the pro-choice movement for decades.

But others say the time is right. In 2004, just 30 percent of Americans told pollsters that they supported legalizing same sex marriage. Less than a decade later, as one recent poll showed, that percentage has climbed to nearly 60. For the first time in history, the majority of Americans support gay rights

via Before The Supreme Court Considers Gay Marriage, An American Change Of Heart.

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Chick-fil-A Officially Comes Out as Antigay

I’ve posted on Chick-fil-a and their cultish behavior before, but now they have really come out of the closet.

Let me say this very clearly:  Chick-fil-a is an anti-Gay company.  Openly and clearly stated below.

If you know and care about anyone who is Gay, you should really think hard if you want to buy that greasy chicken sandwich and waffle fries knowing the profit is going to be used against your friends and loved ones….

And for the record, “biblical principles” are open to interpretation.  He’s using this phrase to justify his personal bigotry….

Form TheAdvocate.com:

Dan Cathy, the chief operating officer of Chick-fil-A, said there is no denying that his company opposes marriage equality.

Cathy said that he does not feel right billing Chick-fil-A as a Christian business because, as Christian business mentor Fred Roach once said, “There is no such thing as a Christian business … Christ never died for a corporation.”

However, Cathy told the Baptist Press he aims to operate the restaurant chain “on biblical principles.” When asked whether his company had an established position against marriage equality, Cathy said, “guilty as charged.”

He added, “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that. … We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”

via Chick fil A COO Dan Cathy Officially Comes Out as Antigay | Advocate.com.


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Greensboro City Council Votes To Oppose North Carolina Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment

Sometimes, I really love the city I live in!  Frequently, in fact….

Tonight the Greensboro City Council voted 8-1 to oppose the proposed Constitutional Amendment to the NC State Constitution to ban Gay marriage and pretty much any recognition of any Gay relationship.

I’m so proud of Mayor Robbie Perkins and Councilman Zack Matheny, both Republicans by the way, for leading this effort to support Greensboro’s Gay Families.

The loan dissenter was Councilperson Trudy Wade- a local vet who will never touch our pets!

Thank you to the 8 decent people on the City Council who stood up for Equality!

From DigTriad.com:

The proposed amendment, which will appear on the May primary ballot, would state that “marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized” in the state of North Carolina.

Greensboro Mayor Robbie Perkins and councilman Zack Matheny are bringing the resolution in opposition to the council.

The resolution cites the city’s policy of hiring without discrimination and the policy to offer benefits to domestic partners as reasons to oppose the amendment.

“Whereas, This amendment, if approved by voters, would be inconsistent with the City of Greensboro’s goals, commitments, and policies, negatively impacting, among other things, the City’s ability to offer domestic partner benefits and compete as an employer.”

City Councilwoman Trudy Wade intends to vote against the resolution.  She issued her own statement regarding the vote.

“The City Council resolution claims to be a reaffirmation of Greensboro’s commitment to be nondiscriminatory.  In reality, however, it is a frontal assault against the institution of marriage.”

via Greensboro City Council To Vote To Oppose North Carolina Marriage Amendment | digtriad.com.

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The Time Has Come: Ban Straight Marriage

Great article from David Mixner’s blog, Live from Hell’s Kitchen:


The LGBT community likes to believe it is a tolerant community that is open to a wide spectrum of alternative relationships. However, with the recent marriage of Kim Kardashian that lasted for only 72 days we might have reached our limit. After a ten million dollar wedding, entirely sponsored by commercial interests, we are treated to a scam of a divorce. If only this was an exception in the straight community but alas it is just the latest in scam marriages that have placed heavy burdens on the institution of marriage.

What kind of message does this send our children? What kind of role models does this provide our little ones? These high profile short term marriages are just the ones visible. Can you imagine how many straights have practiced this violation of their marriage vows across the country?

The time has come for a Constitutional Amendment to ban straight marriages .

The haphazard way that straights have approached marriage hurts LGBT marriages. The LGBT community has worked hard to win marriage equality. With these clowns staying with their spouse for less than six months seriously demeans our scared vows. The LGBT community has had its patience tested with these quick divorces and it is time we take action.

Look at the record of the celebrities who have scarred the institution of marriage. Gwaker reports that these marriages have lasted less than six months. It is shocking, I tell you, it is shocking!

More:   DavidMixner.com – Live From Hell’s Kitchen.

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