Tag Archives: entertainment

December 12, 2011 · 6:00 pm

Barbie and Ken’s Christmas Letters to Santa

These have been kicking around the internet for years…

I’m not sure who originally wrote them….

Reading them is one of my favorite Holiday Traditions, so I’m  reprinting them here in case anyone else wants to share…

Barbie’s Christmas Letter
Dear Santa,
Listen, you troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won’t wanna be around to smell it).

So, here’s my holiday wish list, Santa:

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I’m sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man…maybe GI Joe. Hell, I’d take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boyfriend Ken. And what’s with that earring anyway? If I’m gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don’t care whose arm you have to twist, just get it done.

6. A jog bra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don’t cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, an advertising account exec!

8. A new, more modern persona. Maybe “PMS Barbie”, complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; “Animal Rights Barbie”, with my very own pain gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat  and handcuffs; or “Stop Smoking Barbie”, sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald’s endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It’s been 47 years — I think I deserve it.

OK, Santa, that’s it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don’t think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bimbo doll for next Christmas. It’s that simple.

Yours truly,

Barbie

And Ken’s Response:

Ken’s Christmas Letter

Dear Santa,

I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of some of the issues concerning Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs and desires.

First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve preferential treatment — the bitch has everything. I, along with Joe, Jem, Raggedy Ann & Andy, DO NOT have a dream house, Corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases, the ability to change our hair style. I personally have only 3 outfits which I am forced to mix and match at great length. My decision to accessorize my outfits with an earring was my decision and reflects my lifestyle choice.

I too would like a change in career. Have you ever considered “Decorator Ken”, “Beauty Salon Ken”, or “Out of work Actor Ken”? In addition there are several other avenues which could be considered such as: “S & M Ken”, “Green Lantern Ken”, “Circuit Ken”, “Bear Ken”, “Master Ken” These would more accurately reflect my desires and perhaps open up new markets. And as for Barbie needing bendable arms so she can “push me away”, I need bendable knees so I can kick the bitch to the curb. Bendable knees would also be helpful for me in other situations — we’ve talked about this issue before.

In closing, I would like to point out that any further concessions to the blonde bimbo from hell will result in action be taken by myself and others.

And Barbie can forget about having GI Joe – he’s mine; at least that’s what he said last night in bed.

Sincerely,

Ken

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December 10, 2011 · 4:00 pm

Why Must the Show Go On?

A few words of wisdom from the Master to put Show Biz in perspective….

Noel Coward’s talent is priceless…..

And his words ring so much truer today – with Lindsay Lohan, the Kartrashians and some of our show biz martyrs- than they did 50 years ago…

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December 4, 2011 · 1:51 pm

Gayest Christmas Videos– The Nominees Are:

Tis this season to be Jolly…

And to haul out all the Holly!

Christmas is the gayest season…

Cause Christmas Queens have lost all reason!

There are so many Christmas Videos that are just gay, Gay, GAY!

I want to celebrate a few here- and probably a few more as I find them throughout the holidays.

Maybe  we’ll vote on “who’s the Gayest of the All” around Christmas Eve!

Nominee # 1:

Nominee #2:

Why are all these to the same song???

Nominee #3:

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December 1, 2011 · 6:45 am

Former Vatican Exorcist Says Yoga and Harry Potter are Satanic Tools

This just supports my long-held theory:  “If it upsets the Vatican, it must be good!”

As a rather slack yogi who loved the Harry Potter movies, all I can say is, this is total nonsense propagated by an elderly man with a closed mind and no sense of humor.

In other words, an Italian Republican…

This is an example of why the Vatican is becoming increasingly irrelevant to so many Catholics and non-Catholics today….

The Vatican’s former chief exorcist says yoga and Harry Potter are tools of the devil.

“Practicing yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter,” Father Gabriele Amorth said this week.

Those seemingly “innocuous” Potter books convince kids to believe in black magic, he said.

“In Harry Potter the Devil acts in a crafty and covert manner, under the guise of extraordinary powers, magic spells and curses,” said Amorth.

As for yoga, it leads to Hinduism and “all eastern religions are based on a false belief in reincarnation,” the 86-year-old priest said.

Amorth made the hellraising remarks at a film festival in the Italian city of Umbria, where he was invited to introduce a movie about exorcism called “The Rite,” which stars Anthony Hopkins, the Telegraph of London reported.

“Satan is always hidden and what he most wants is for us not to believe in his existence,” he said. “He studies every one of us and our tendencies towards good and evil, and then he offers temptations.”

Science can’t explain evil, added Amorth, who claims to have performed 50,000 exorcisms before retiring in 2000. He is both founder and honorary president for life of the International Association of Exorcists.

No surprise, Amorth’s favorite movie is “The Exorcist.”

While the Jesuit’s remarks might strike many as the ravings of a man possessed, Pope Benedict once warned of “subtle seductions” in the Potter books that “dissolve Christianity in the soul.”

The Pope has also warned that yoga “can degenerate into a cult of the body.”

via Former Vatican exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth says yoga and Harry Potter are Satanic tools  – NY Daily News.

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November 30, 2011 · 11:15 pm

Daniel Craig Calls Kardashians ‘F*cking Idiots,’

Another reason to love Daniel Craig….

I’m really offended that I even had to find out who the Kardashians are….And I never watch TV!

They are so omnipresent in the media, you can’t avoid the skanky creatures…..

Daniel puts it in perspective….

Daniel Craig is a very private man, on screen and off. On film, he plays a journalist doing important investigative work, as well as the world’s most famous spy; in real life, he does things like get married in super secret ceremonies. And as he tells British GQ, he’s got good reason for all the secrecy; once you go Kardashian, you never go back.

“I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping your own counsel,” Craig tells the magazine. “You can’t buy it back. You can’t buy your privacy back. ‘Ooh, I want to be alone. ‘F*ck you. We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta, and now you want some privacy?'”

In case he wasn’t clear enough that he was talking about the Kardashians — hey, reality shows blend together — he then emphasized his target.

“It’s a career. What can I tell you?” he continues. “It is a career; I’m not being cynical. And why wouldn’t you? Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. Millions! I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with, but now look at them. You see that and you think, ‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f*cking idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?'”

In fact, Craig’s comments are quite salient on a day when Kourtney Kardashian announced that she is pregnant… on the cover of Us Weekly.

via Daniel Craig Calls Kardashians ‘F*cking Idiots,’ Talks ‘Dragon Tattoo’ And Reality TV In British GQ.

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November 20, 2011 · 12:19 pm

Scotty Bowers: Hustler and Confidant to the Stars Tells All

I can’t wait to get my hands on this….

I’ve heard about this guy for years and never thought he would tell his stories.  And from what I read, he’s a pretty honest and dependable guy…

Hollywood Historian William J Mann quoted him in his Katharine Hepburn bio, Kate:  The Woman Who Was Hepburn– which is great reading and well worth your time if you need something to hold you over until this comes out..(http://www.amazon.com/Kate-Woman-Who-Was-Hepburn/dp/0805076255/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1321817616&sr=8-15)

I’ve just pre-ordered a copy at Amazon.com. and can’t wait to read this when it comes out in January or February.

Here’s the link to purchase at Amazon.com:  http://www.amazon.com/Full-Service-Adventures-Hollywood-Secret/dp/0802120075

From Entertainment Weekly:

Scotty Bowers never acted in a single movie. But his story may cast a new light on old Hollywood by revealing the hidden love lives of stars like Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy, and Rita Hayworth—all of whom Bowers claims as paramours from his heyday trading sex for money.

Literary agent David Kuhn confirms exclusively to EW that Grove/Atlantic president Morgan Entrekin has bought the rights to Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars, Bowers’ memoir of his years spent as a bartender, confidante, and gigolo to a laundry list of showbiz icons. A GI who moved to Hollywood after World War II, Bowers describes how he and friends serviced actors and actresses on leave from nearby studios—using an LA gas station as their base. He says he later became an in-demand bartender who developed intimate friendships with stars like Katharine Hepburn, Montgomery Clift, and Rock Hudson, among others. Now 88 and living in L.A. with his wife of 27 years, Bowers agreed to tell his stories now that most of the celebrities he claims were friends and clients have passed away.

“The book is a window onto the shadow lives of all these people who entertained us and made popular culture, but who in many ways weren’t what they appeared to be,” says Kuhn. “Scotty helped them to fulfill the desires that they couldn’t fulfill themselves.”

Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars is set for release on Feb. 14, 2012.

via Memoirist claims he turned tricks for stars like Cary Grant and Spencer Tracy | Shelf Life | EW.com.

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November 20, 2011 · 10:26 am

‘Cursing’ Baby Doll Upsets Parents

I may have to have one of these….

I would have loved it if these had been around when my friends had small children.  I would have known exactly what to give them for Christmas then!

Instead, I may just go buy a few for selected friends now….

Of course, people are freaking out and making much ado over nothing…

Video, at the link below, from Huffington Post:

A talking baby doll available at Toys “R” Us is upsetting some parents, who claim it has a potty mouth.

Some customers are calling for the “You & Me Interactive Play & Giggle Triplet Dolls” to be pulled from shelves because they say one of the dolls can be heard uttering, “You crazy bitch.”

“I did hear that. I wouldn’t want that for my child. Definitely not,” Denise Altschule told FOX23 in Tulsa, Okla.

Another mother told WJXT-TV in Jacksonville, Fla., that she feared her son could pick up the curse word from the doll. “I don’t want him repeating what’s on there,” she said.

The dolls, which are intended for children 2 and up, are being sold exclusively at Toys “R” Us stores. A Toys “R” spokeswoman told FOX23 that the retail store has not received widespread complaints and said the offending phrase is just baby talk.

via ‘Cursing’ Baby Doll Upsets Parents (VIDEO).

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November 4, 2011 · 6:47 pm

Occupy Wall Street More Popular Than Justin Bieber On Twitter

Well, there is some comfort here….

Occupy Wall Street is a serious, grass-roots uprising of normal citizens try to force society into recognizing and dealing with income inequality and the Corporate ownership of our government.

I guess that’s a little more important than some no-talent, plastic pre-pubescent “entertainer” who is a manufactured product of the very mass-produced culture generated by these corporations, strictly  to make money from gullible Americans, and forced down their throats via distribution, broadcast and media empires owned by said Corporations…

Besides, I’m still not convinced Justin Bieber isn’t really a 24 year-old Lesbian being marketed by the Corporations as a  teenage boy.

Call me cynical, but remember Milli Vanilli…

From Huffington Post:

The Occupy Wall Street movement topped Justin Bieber as the most popular story on Twitter, according to the New Media Index from the Pew Research Center’s Project for Excellence in Journalism.

Despite the teen heart-throb’s over 14 million Twitter followers, Occupy Wall Street was the top story on Twitter between October 24 and 28, followed by Bieber, who has made the New Media Index charts three times in the last five weeks. Steve Job’s death, the news of which broke October 6, came in third and the 2012 presidential elections ranked fourth.

The Occupy Wall Street movement was the third most popular news story on blogs (Bieber didn’t make the cut!) and the New Media Index notes that the protests “inspired very different conversations on blogs and Twitter.”

“On Twitter, the tone was markedly pro-protestor, with Twitter users sharing images and videos of police using tear gasduring protests in Oakland,” wrote the New Media Index in its report.

Recent analysis by Google found that search interest in Occupy Wall Street had waned slightly from its peak on October 15.

An NMIncite study released October 19 concluded that social media “buzz” about Occupy Wall Street “reached its peak on October 6th with 13,133 messages being posted in one day,” though the New Media Index’s findings suggest conversations about the movement are up again on Twitter.

Bieber enjoys such high popularity on Twitter that employees at the social media company have joked that the star has his own servers.

“At any moment, Justin Bieber uses 3% of our infrastructure. Racks of servers are dedicated to him. – A guy who works at Twitter,” tweeted Dustin Curtis last year.

via Justin Bieber Less Popular Than Occupy Wall Street On Twitter.

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November 2, 2011 · 7:35 pm

Happy Birthday, KD Lang

She’s probably the greatest vocalist of our generation…

And she’s 50 years old today….

Happy  Birthday, KD!

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October 5, 2011 · 9:40 pm

Happy Birthday, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”

The film version of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” opened 50 years ago today, October 5, 1961.

I’ve always loved this movie….

I had to go to Tiffany’s on my first trip to New York just to pay homage to this film and it’s star Audrey Hepburn.  I even had to have my picture take where she stood.

I’m much more blase’ and world-weary now, but I always think of this film whenever I’m on Fifth Avenue and go by Tiffany’s.  It was one of the films that formed my childhood image of New York.

I’m still looking for the New York of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

And I always will be….

And the original trailer:

 

And here’s a great blog entry about the film from Gary Susman at Moviefone:

http://blog.moviefone.com/2011/10/05/25-things-breakfast-at-tiffanys-anniversary/

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